Every January and February, I try to catch up on all the films I missed the previous year, working off of all the awards season nomination lists, as well as the best-of lists from my favorite critics. This year things got a little out of hand. Spreadsheets were involved. And I discovered that insomnia is a power, not a curse. 2 months and 103 films later, I feel qualified to make some lists. So I humbly present the South Philly Film Club's 1st Annual Mirror Universe Oscars.
This mirror universe isn't all evil and offbeat choices - there's plenty of overlap with the Academy choices, due to the fact that this was a really good year for films. I liked or loved all the Best Picture nominees except The Big Short, which I expect will win to spite me, and also because Hollywood likes to think it makes important movies. My mirror universe tries to ignore Oscar biases towards genre films, independent films, and animation, and chooses to ignore inexplicable rules for categories like Best Original Soundtrack. Oh, and my mirror universe isn't all white people! Amazing, I know. There are still a lot of them, though, because #OscarsSoWhite is a very real problem and while the Academy's changes will hopefully do a little to address this (if they manage to hit and sustain their goals), it's very much an industry-wide problem and will take a lot to change. And the industry should be called out accordingly, this year and every year until things improve.
All categories are included except Documentary Shorts, as I didn't get to see them (next year, I swear). And I added a bunch of extra categories beyond the Oscars, stolen from other awards shows or just made up by me. And if you want to see my overall Top 25 Films list, scroll to the very end.
South Philly Film Club’s 1st Annual
Mirror Universe Oscars
Best Film:
45 Years
Carol
Ex Machina
Inside Out
The Look of Silence
Mad Max: Fury Road
Phoenix
The Revenant
Spotlight
Tangerine
Best Actor:
Jason Segel - The End of the Tour
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Revenant
Michael B. Jordan - Creed
Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs
Tom Courtenay - 45 Years
Best Actress:
Brie Larson - Room
Cate Blanchett - Carol
Charlize Theron - Mad Max: Fury Road
Charlotte Rampling - 45 Years
Nina Hoss - Phoenix
Best Supporting Actor:
Idris Elba - Beasts of No Nation
Jacob Tremblay - Room
Mark Rylance - Bridge of Spies
Paul Dano - Love & Mercy
Sylvester Stallone - Creed
Best Supporting Actress:
Kitana Kiki Rodriguez - Tangerine
Kristen Stewart - Clouds of Sils Maria
Phyllis Smith - Inside Out
Rachel Weisz - Youth
Rooney Mara - Carol
Best Director:
Alejandro Iñárritu - The Revenant
George Miller - Mad Max: Fury Road
Hou Hsiao-Hsien - The Assassin
Joshua Oppenheimer - The Look of Silence
Todd Haynes - Carol
Original Screenplay:
45 Years - Andrew Haigh
Bridge of Spies - Matthew Charman, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Ex Machina - Alex Garland
Inside Out - Josh Cooley, Pete Docter, Meg Lefauve
Spotlight - Josh Singer & Tom McCarthy
Adapted Screenplay:
Brooklyn - Nick Hornby
Carol - Phyllis Nagy
The Diary of a Teenage Girl - Marielle Heller
The Martian - Drew Goddard
Room - Emma Donoghue
Animated Film:
Anomalisa
Boy & the World (Brazil)
Inside Out
Shaun the Sheep Movie
When Marnie Was There
Documentary:
Amy
Approaching the Elephant
Cartel Land
Listen Up, Marlon
The Look of Silence
Foreign Film:
The Assassin (Taiwan)
Clouds of Sils Maria (France)
Mustang (France)
Phoenix (Germany)
Son of Saul (Hungary)
Original Score:
Carol - Carter Burwell
The Duke of Burgundy - Cat’s Eyes
It Follows - Disasterpeace
The Revenant - Ryūichi Sakamoto, Alva Noto & Bryce Dessner
Star Wars: The Force Awakens - John Williams
Cinematography:
The Assassin - Mark Lee Ping Bin
Carol - Ed Lachman
Mad Max: Fury Road - John Seale
The Revenant - Emmanuel Lubezki
Sicario - Roger Deakins
Visual Effects:
Ex Machina
The Forbidden Room
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Editing:
Bridge of Spies
Carol
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
Sicario
Music (Original Song):
David Lang, “Simple Song #3″ (from Youth)
J. Ralph and Anohni, “Manta Ray” (from Racing Extinction)
Nick Cannon, “Pray 4 My City” (from Chi-Raq)
Shye Ben Tzur, Jonny Greenwood and the Rajasthan Express, “Roked” (from Junun)
Sparks, “The Final Derriere” (from The Forbidden Room)
Short Film (Animated):
Bear Story
Prologue
Sanjay’s Super Team
We Can’t Live Without Cosmos
World of Tomorrow
Short Film (Live Action):
Ave Maria
Day One
Everything Will Be Okay (Alles Wird Gut)
Shok
Stutterer
Costume Design:
Carol
Cinderella
Crimson Peak
Mad Max: Fury Road
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Makeup and Hairstyling:
Crimson Peak
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant
Production Design:
Bridge of Spies
Crimson Peak
Hard to Be a God (Russia)
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
Sound Editing:
Crimson Peak
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Sound Mixing:
Love & Mercy
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
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Best Action Film:
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Kingsman: The Secret Service
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Sicario
Spectre
Best Action Performer:
Colin Firth - Kingsman: The Secret Service
Daniel Craig - Spectre
Rebecca Ferguson - Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Tom Cruise - Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Tom Hardy - Mad Max: Fury Road
Best Action Scene:
Avengers: Age of Ultron - Opening HYDRA Base Attack
Bridge of Spies - Opening Chase and Search
Kingsman: The Secret Service - Church Carnage
Mad Max: Fury Road - Bendy Pole Dudes Attack!
Spectre - Mexico City Opening
Best Comedy Film:
Inherent Vice
The Lobster
Mistress America
Spy
What We Do in the Shadows
Best Comedy Performer:
Greta Gerwig - Mistress America
Jason Statham - Spy
Joaquin Phoenix - Inherent Vice
Lily Tomlin - Grandma
Melissa McCarthy - Spy
Best Sci-Fi/Horror Film:
Crimson Peak
Hard to Be a God (Russia)
It Follows
The Martian
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Best Sci-Fi/Horror Performer:
Alicia Vikander - Ex Machina
Daisy Ridley - Star Wars: The Force Awakens
John Boyega - Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Matt Damon - The Martian
Mia Wasikowska - Crimson Peak
Best Acting Ensemble:
The Hateful Eight
The Martian
Mustang (France)
Spotlight
Straight Outta Compton
Best Young Performer:
Abraham Attah – Beasts of No Nation
Günes Sensoy - Mustang (France)
Kai Francis Lewis - Second Coming
Kaitlyn Dias - Inside Out
Elias Schwarz - Goodnight Mommy (Austria)
Best Debut Film:
Alex Garland - Ex Machina
Deniz Gamze Ergüven - Mustang (France)
John MacClean - Slow West
László Nemes - Son of Saul (Hungary)
Marielle Heller - The Diary of a Teenage Girl
Best Use of 3D:
Jurassic World
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
The Walk
Best Use of a Song:
Cyndi Lauper, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” (Anomalisa)
Kurt Weill, “Speak Low” (Phoenix)
Oliver Cheatham, “Get Down Saturday Night” (Ex Machina)
Patty and Mildred J. Hill, “Happy Birthday to You” (Amy)
Rihanna, “Diamonds” (Girlhood)
Best Character Name:
Dolomides - Chi-Raq (Samuel L. Jackson as Dolemite as Greek chorus. Perfect.)
The Doof Warrior - Mad Max: Fury Road
Rictus Erectus - Mad Max: Fury Road
The Splendid Angharad - Mad Max: Fury Road
Toast the Knowing - Mad Max: Fury Road
Best Line(s):
“I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.” - Spy
“I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.” - The Martian
“That’s cool about the frozen yogurt machine. Everyone I love dies.” - Mistress America
“Time takes everybody out; time's undefeated.” - Creed
“We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.” - What We Do in the Shadows
Honorary Mention: Best Lines About Dancing:
“I’m gonna tear up the fuckin’ dance floor, dude, check it out.” - Ex Machina
“We dance alone. That's why we only play electronic music.” - The Lobster
“Just don’t dance.” - The Big Short
“How Much for the Cheetos and water?” - Magic Mike XXL
Best Motion Capture Performance:
Andy Serkis - Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Glenn Ennis - The Revenant
James Spader - Avengers: Age of Ultron
Lupita Nyong’o - Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Mark Ruffalo - Avengers: Age of Ultron
Best Stunt Work:
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Kingsman: The Secret Service
Mad Max: Fury Road
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
The Revenant
Best Choreography (Fight/Dance):
Chi-Raq
Kingsman: The Secret Service
Magic Mike XXL
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Top 10 Film Scenes of the Year
- Phoenix - Speak Low
- Magic Mike XXL - Convenience Store Performance
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens - No, MY Lightsaber
- Carol - Bookends
- The Revenant - First Battle
- Wild Tales - Strangers on a Plane Opening
- Tangerine - Car Wash Servicing
- Anomalisa - Sex Scene
- The Walk - The Walk (specifically, The Walk in 3D)
- Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation - Vienna Opera House
Most physically painful filmgoing experience: My legs and feet hurting for the last half of The Walk in 3D and for an HOUR after, thanks to my fear of heights.
Most Anticipated Films of 2016:
Hail, Caesar! - Joel & Ethan Coen
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - Gareth Edwards
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - David Yates
Love & Friendship - Whit Stillman
Certain Women - Kelly Reichardt
High-Rise - Ben Wheatley
Midnight Special - Jeff Nichols
La La Land - Damien Chazelle
Captain America: Civil War - Joe & Anthony Russo
Manchester by the Sea - Kenneth Lonergan
How to Talk to Girls at Parties - John Cameron Mitchell
Knight of Cups - Terrence Malick
The BFG - Steven Spielberg
Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World - Werner Herzog
Everybody Wants Some - Richard Linklater
Our Kind of Traitor - Susanna White
X-Men: Apocalypse - Bryan Singer
The Birth of a Nation - Nate Parker
A Quiet Passion - Terence Davies
Finding Dory - Andrew Stanton
American Honey - Andrea Arnold
My Golden Days - Arnaud Desplechin
Jason Bourne - Paul Greengrass
Ghostbusters - Paul Feig
Newtown - Kim A. Snyder
Russ & Roger Go Beyond - TBD
Things to Come - Mia Hansen-Løve
Doctor Strange - Scott Derrickson
Cameraperson - Kirsten Johnson
Kubo and the Two Strings - Travis Knight
Gambit - Doug Liman
2016 Films I Don’t Expect to Be Good But Really Hope Will Prove Me Wrong:
Assassin’s Creed - Justin Kurzel
Star Trek Beyond - Justin Lin
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Zack Snyder
Triple 9 - Michael Winterbottom
Genius - Michael Grandage
(streaming - A: Amazon, F: Fandor, H: Hulu Plus, N: Netflix)
Best Films I Saw for the First Time (Any Year)
- The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (d: Powell/Pressburger, 1943)
- Laura (d: Otto Preminger, 1946) (N)
- A Matter of Life and Death (d: Powell/Pressburger, 1946)
- The Holly and the Ivy (d: George More O'Ferrall, 1952)
- Kes (d: Ken Loach, 1969)
- Solaris (d: Steven Soderbergh, 2002)
- The River (d: Jean Renoir, 1951) (H)
- The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (d: Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1947)
- Swing Time (d: George Stevens, 1936)
- The Young Girls of Rochefort (d: Jacques Demy, 1967) (N,H)
Top 25 Films
- Mad Max: Fury Road
- Tangerine (N)
- Carol
- The Lobster
- Inside Out
- 45 Years
- Clouds of Sils Maria (France)
- Phoenix (Germany) (N)
- Inherent Vice
- Spotlight
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- The Look of Silence (N)
- The Forbidden Room (F)
- Crimson Peak
- Ex Machina (A)
- The Diary of a Teenage Girl
- Amy (A)
- Magic Mike XXL
- The Martian
- Son of Saul (Hungary)
- The Revenant
- Brooklyn
- Mustang (France)
- Youth (Italy)
- Wild Tales (Argentina)
Takeaway:
If you’re complaining about the state of movies today, you’re either not watching enough or you’re not paying attention.